#363 – Conviction

Posted by Beardo on Jan 22, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

I think, from personal experience, I’ve confused a lot of terms. For example, there’s a difference between arrogance and conviction.

For the past two days, I’ve been attending a seminar on Islamic Manners and Etiquette.

In the process of the lecture, the scholar narrated a story about how he overheard his father say, “I have three sons of whom all are Hafidh of the Qur’an. My life is complete and I am ready to pass on.” And as if that had not startled me enough, the scholar himself said, “For him to say that made me think, well, I’m the one with the Qur’an in my heart. My life is complete, too. I can anticipate forgiveness and mercy based off that.”

My first reaction was shock. That was very bold. But I think I have been too critical and harsh on myself. After four years of effort and then to firmly say your life is complete and ready to meet God, that’s not a sign of arrogance. It’s a sign of conviction. You are not seeking anything from anyone. You’re simply relying on Allah Ta’ala for mercy, with firm conviction that He will compensate and show mercy, because He is the All-Merciful.

And suddenly, after all these years, I felt like I was moving closer to understanding the meaning of conviction. When you firmly believe something, you have no hesitation to make bold statements (such as saying your life is complete and ready to go), anticipating the Infinite Mercy of Allah Ta’ala. And I also began to understood the value of the Qur’an.

Yesterday, the first time after a very long time, I prayed all five salaat in the Masjid. In addition, I led four of them. I spent the day in the Masjid, acquiring knowledge. I cannot explain to you the beauty of learning. I kept tapping away on my iPad with notes. And then I came online to pass it on to you. There is so much I have learned this weekend, the uplift in spirituality.

But now is the harder part. It’s easy to feel that tingling of excitement and inspiration in the moment. But now is the obstacle of maintaining it. It’s not much of an obstacle as it is a challenge. As long as you remember, practice, and hold that firm conviction, insha-Allah it should be easy. And there are simple things you can do, which I’ll mention in my next post, insha-Allah!

#362: Eventful Day (Part 3): Overall Notes

Posted by Beardo on Jan 21, 2012 in Blog | 3 comments

So I’m going to briefly and quickly share with you what I learned.

- Back in the day, information was scarce. To read a book, you would have to travel far and abroad. You’d probably even memorize the book. But nowadays, because information is so widely available, it holds less value. In addition, people don’t even bother to memorize with the advent of the iPad and other technologies.

- It might seem minuscule to start by wearing the shoe on the right foot and then the left. It might seem small to do basic etiquette, like entering the bathroom with the left foot, etc. Or even to have respect for a kitchen table. You don’t sit on it or put your foot on it. That’s a manner in itself. And if you have such respect for non-living beings, imagine how much respect you’d have for a living being.

- When you invite someone over, don’t let them leave empty-handed. Even if you give them a pamphlet or a magazine with an interesting article, give something beneficial to them. When you give a gift, don’t let it be meaningless. Put a little thought into it. And most of the time, simplicity in a gift means the most. The scholar was saying how we can never just give half a chocolate bar or even a chocolate bar as a gift. We have to put it in a basket, with a card that says “This is for you.” The informalities of friendship have become overlooked, making life only difficult for ourselves. Simple gifts mean so much. Simply dropping off homegrown vegetables to someone in a plastic bag can mean so much, even if it’s just two or three of them.

- Don’t decrease people to a material value. The scholar was saying how someone told him his brother-in-law drives a BMW. It’s a random and meaningless comment. Why reduce someone to their possessions? Don’t let materialistic value make you closer OR further from someone. How often are our friends closer than our own relatives? More often than not, that friendship is based on faith and righteousness.

- Even if you’ve heard a story, pretend you haven’t heard it before. Let the person telling the story feel good about himself. Listen to it as if it was your first. Don’t interrupt. Be noble and humble about it. Similarly, if you know a right answer, don’t rush to answer it.

- You know you have true friendship when you are happy to see the person. Not everyone can be a true friend. The teacher said he knows a LOT of people (and he really does), but he can only count a few friends. He said as a family, they agreed to have a small social network. In the past two years, he’s been to maybe 3-4 dinner invitations.

There’s so much more to say! So much more I have learned, alhamdulillah. And I will try to share it with you.

#362: Eventful Day (Part 2): The Classroom Setting

Posted by Beardo on Jan 21, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

I’m attending a two-day session on Islamic manners and etiquette, and thought I’d share with you what I learned. However, I’d first like to describe my class observations. I’m not judging, but just paining a picture and deriving a lesson or two.

As I sat down, there were two families behind me discussing the concept of Kentucky Fried Chicken and Chicken Nuggets. One lady said that we are not allowed to eat them because they have chicken skin on them and that’s not permissible to eat. I’m no scholar, so I don’t know if the skin thing is true or not. But I do have one thing to say – Chicken nuggets do not have skin on them. That “skin” she is referring to is simply a breadcrumb batter. To loosely say that one cannot eat chicken nuggets or kentucky fried chicken without any knowledge, that’s a horrible thing to do. You’re not only spreading false information, but making religion a difficulty and obstacle for others unnecessarily. And I’m not saying this just because I’m madly in love with chicken nuggets – but it angers me when people make things difficult without proper reasoning. Religion is not difficult.

Meanwhile, the questions people ask are also fascinating. The teacher was saying how one should always be decent in appearance and smell. He suggested the use of gum and mints to take away any bad breathe. So one of the questions raised was whether this created a health issue, asking if gum or mints was unhealthy. The Imam, perhaps slightly amused, said, “Probably. Ask your doctor.” But why waste precious class time asking these questions?

Then the Imam during the lecture said one should not knock more than 3 times. So a question was received as to how many knocks consists in each “knock.” I do appreciate each of the questioner’s zeal to learn and strive – but as the teacher also said, it’s mainly common sense. It’s not meant to be over thought. After some point, you have to stop asking questions because you’re only making things more difficult for yourself.

For example, if you think gum or mints are unhealthy, avoid eating onions, garlic, etc. Brush your teeth consistently to avoid bad breathe. As far as the knocks, it was said that it’s three knocks. That’s it. Each knock consists however many you think it takes to be heard. It could be one, two, or three. If there was a Sunnah amount, it would have been mentioned.

Nonetheless, I’m not hating on anyone. I’m sure my words come across much harsher than I really intend. They’re just thoughts, even to myself. I also ask weird questions, more often than most people. So I’m reminding only myself.

#362: Eventful Day (Part 1): The Opportunity vs Commitment

Posted by Beardo on Jan 21, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

I had a VERY eventful day, Alhamdulillah, so I’m thinking this will be a 3-part post. Bear with me.

So today, I open my email and see that someone offered ownership (no strings attached) to their 10-year Yahoo Group with over 2500 members. I’m not too familiar with Yahoo Groups but that seemed like a very decently maintained and active group. This was an opportune moment, especially since they were extending their hands to give it to the Network.

However, I simply did not have the time to commit to it. It’s tempting to accept such a gracious offer, but if I’m not able to do it justice, it’s better I do not accept it. I must say, my heart pains to think I let it go. It could have served as a great marketing agent, too, to the Network. I only asked a select couple members of our volunteer and staff base to see if they were interested – but nobody seemed overly keen to manage the group.

And I thought to myself, waging a war in my head as to whether or not I should accept this offer. I take every offer very seriously. But I can’t say I always have.

Back in the day, perhaps not even too long ago (maybe a year ago), I was going through this phase where I’d open a new Network website every month. I’d get bored of one and make another. In the process, I ended up with a dozen half-baked ideas. So about a few weeks ago, I cleaned out the Network of any websites I found to be useless or not as beneficial to the Network or the public.

And that’s how it is. You can’t accept every opportunity that comes to you – it’s simply not feasible. But you have that firm belief that because you had a sincere intention of turning down the offer, that many more doors will open up to you in the future, insha-Allah. You leave your options open. That’s the test of life – it’s a matter of balance and commitment.

We all want to do everything. We want to manage family life, school, work, entertainment, hobbies, and the list is endless. However, we have to make sacrifices once in a while. The great scholars and those who have achieved great feats made huge sacrifices. In addition to sacrificing, it’s also a matter of prioritization.

So even though it pained me to turn down this opportune moment, I have the firm conviction that something better will open up in the future. Not something, but a variety of opportunities, insha-Allah. That’s the cycle of life. You win some, you lose some. No pain, no gain. Get real with yourself. Have lofty dreams, but also be realistic. Take small steps towards them and never lose hope. Every obstacle is a means of salvation. Every moment is an opportune moment as long as your are breathing.

#361 – Chairing MIST Competitions

Posted by Beardo on Jan 20, 2012 in Blog | 2 comments

All I can say is that they must have been really desperate to have asked me to be the chairman for the Knowledge & Qur’an Category of the MIST Competitions this year. But I suppose it is hard to find people who can commit, especially two or three months in advance. It’s a voluntary position. Other than the fact that I’m helping a wonderful non-profit organization, there’s another reason I enjoy working under them.

Their professionalism is very impressive. The rule book and manual for the entire competition is around 30 pages long. And then they have separate rule books for each category on top of that – mine was 9 pages for the Knowledge & Qur’an section. It’s something anyone can learn from. Especially working with the Jannah Network, I try to extract some ideas from their methodology and add it to ours.

And I do feel as if there is a lack of professionalism nowadays. There’s also lack of commitment. Perhaps it has always been like this. Even on this blog, you’ll often notice that I write two days of posts in one. And sometimes, when I’m really bad, I write three days of posts. But I just change the date stamp on the post so nobody can tell the difference.

But anyway, orderly and proper organizations do catch my attention. They’re rare to find, so whenever I do see one, I want to learn from them and adopt their skills.

As the chairman, though, my job does not entail any judging whatsoever. Instead, I have to choose qualified judges, proctors, and volunteers – and make sure they come on time on the day of the event. I’m not quite sure what my other responsibilities are because I haven’t yet read the 9-page manual. It’ll be a while until I overcome the laziness and intimidation to take a crack at it.

#360 – College & Marijuana

Posted by Beardo on Jan 19, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

So today we had an MSA get-together before the semester starts at a Halal Chinese restaurant. One thing I appreciate about our new MSA leadership is that they both encourage gender-segregation. Nonetheless…

There weren’t many of us; maybe around 10 brothers total. As were sitting to talk, the youngest one among us (who went to Madressah with me) asked me where I go to school. This is the third time he asked me this month – each time asking me in front of a large crowd. He asked me if I’m 21. I knew exactly where he was headed, so I just said “almost, I guess.” Although, I’m still a couple years away. And then he announced, very loudly, “So you’re STILL in college?!” I don’t know why, but he’s been doing this everytime he sees me since the beginning of Winter Break.

Most of the people at the table had started college the same time as I had, on the same path (started high school early, transfer to a college early, too). As soon as the comment was made, the entire table uproared against him. I kept quiet the entire time, not needing or wanting to defend myself. My dad always told me that it doesn’t matter how or where you start, but where you end that matters the most. After everything is said and done, nobody will ask about the start. The only thing that will shine from your resume or any result, for that matter, is the end result.

Although, I suppose it was flattering how everyone jumped to save me. Since I’m always the loud and talkative one, I guess seeing me quiet made the think I was offended or sad. They kept telling me, “It’s OK, we know you’re going to go far, you’re doing well.” And then they turned to him and said, “He did other things in the middle, like go to Madressah and learn Arabic. Trust me, you’re going to take five years to finish college, too, just watch.”

And at the end of it all, I just wonder how people can be so blunt with their comments. Was I offended? To be honest, I wasn’t. I didn’t even care. I don’t live for other people. I didn’t care about what the offender had to say, or what those who defended me had to say. Whereas I might have appreciated them speaking up for me, people will always think or say something. And sometimes, they’ll say one thing and think another. Hence why I say, you can’t live for others. I know I’m not the quickest to understand things. But all I can do is try my best and go at my own pace. Everyone was created differently. And as far as my academic career is concerned, I have been in college for a number of years, but the track I’m on, I’d like to think I’m right on schedule, insha-Allah, if not ahead.

In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, “It is easy in the world to live after the world’s opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after one’s own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.”

And that’s exactly why I kept quiet and didn’t bother defending myself.

Meanwhile, on the way home, I stopped at the gas station and saw someone smelling a leaf. After a bit of thought, I realized it was marijuana. For the first time in my life, I actually saw someone smoke it. It was so odd.

Beardo

#359 – Traveling

Posted by Beardo on Jan 18, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

A lot of my friends have long-term goals to travel abroad. Come to think of it, I suppose I’ve had so many opportunities and experiences abroad, I don’t have much interest in it. And that’s something I’m grateful for, Alhamdulillah. I’ve spent a summer in Dubai, a year in Australia, sight-seeing in France, Switzerland, England, Canada, and visiting family in Bangladesh. Alhamdulillah, it is a blessing which I am truly grateful for.

As for now, I’d like to consider myself a simple person. The only places I frequent are my bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, mom’s bedroom, the Masjid, and school. All are within a five mile radius of what I’d like to call home. I’ve grown fond of this simple, worry-free lifestyle.

But once in a while, to ease my frustration or just for a short vacation, I’ll drive to the beach for an hour or two, yet another blessing. Like today. From Fajr, I went to the beach. Despite the freezing weather, I enjoyed watching the orange sky and the reflection of the sun in the water. I sat down and listened to waves on a sand hill, reading a book.

They say books drive away sadness, misery, and the feeling of uselessness. It brings one closer to contentment and true values. This has so far served true for myself. I used to read a lot more back in the day, before I discovered something called The Internet. And I’m trying to get back in that habit once again. It’s not necessarily an easy task, but once I find a book I like, there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.

But at the end of it all, I guess what I mean to say is just a random thought – that I enjoy a quiet lifestyle, finding contentment with and without the crowds of people; being sociable, yet content even in loneliness.

Everything calls for moderation. Travel and settlement. Social habits and solitude. Eating and sleeping. Going on the Internet and reading. Exercising and dieting.

Interesting.