Daily Blog #128: Life is Short
I don’t know why, but I had the awkward and random thought of death. It was a freaky and inspiring thought all in one.
The freaky part was that I have nothing good to attribute to myself. I’m easily irritated and have a tendency to become very impatient. I’ve also been told that I can be insensitive. And then there was the question that arose in my head as to how might I die. I could be a painfully prolonged form or it could be the natural method. But even then, I thought about all the open projects and incomplete goals under my name.
And that’s when I realized that none of it matters after I cross that line. Actually, it was a very depressing thought, but I suppose it’s something I needed. I’ve added two locations to visit before my summer vacation ends: the graveyard and the beach. Some may consider it morbid, but it’s an excellent way to remind yourself that life is short as it is, so use every moment you have. And the beach is just to get that intake of fresh air and natural scenery. I could sit in the sand and even work on my university applications.
Although, when I think about death, all these university applications and concerns about my future seem minuscule. But I remind myself that in everything I do, I should aspire to be the very best. Just because death is the reality and fact of life, it doesn’t mean I can just sit down like a bum. It means I have to work extra hard so I can perhaps account a couple good deeds to myself at the very least.
You know, if I were to think about this issue a year ago, I’d probably just brush it off my shoulders. It wasn’t even a concern. But I suppose as I get older and reach closer to death, it becomes more of a reality. And it’s not like death will come when I’m 80. It can even dawn upon me tomorrow. And I’m tempted to add “God forbid,” but it’s only wise to say, “God knows best.” Perhaps the sooner I die the better, because that’ll mean the less chances of sins I have to commit. But it also means the loss of opportunity of performing good deeds.
And based off that, I’ve decided to take a reformation of my summer break. Just because it’s vacation, doesn’t mean I can wake up late and miss my prayers. I’m going to make an intention to sleep early and wake up early. I can take a half hour nap if necessary, but it’s important I wake up early. I should go back to my morning jog.
Daily Blog #127: Progression
So I’m finally experiencing some progression in the Jannah Network. We have a small group of local volunteers onto the job. I’m trying to work up on the websites one at a time, assigning a director to each one. So far, each of the directors are well-qualified and eager to their respective positions. Now it’s just a matter of who will actually stay until the end and commit the time.
We’ve had a number of volunteers in the past, but they all tend to go their own ways. Although, I remember receiving an advice: pay those who help you. People will only volunteer for so long. And besides, payments induce commitment and dedication. They create accountability. I’m not saying any of the current volunteers are not well-committed, but I can’t be surprised if any of them resign from their positions because there really is nothing binding them to it.
But Alhamdulillah, we’re working on it. I’ve made a Google document listing each website and its action plan. We’re moving at a pretty smooth and rapid pace, so I’m hoping for the best.
I also asked my mom as to where I should draw my boundaries in terms of gender relations. She gave the same answer as my dad, which was that they both trust my judgement. This definitely puts more pressure on me. That’s one thing I have difficulty defining. Ah well. It was an awkward conversation, but I listened to a lecture which suggested that between a parent-child, there should be a means of communication which is not mentioned face-to-face. It’s meant to be kept online. Works well for me!
Booth Videos and Pictures
For the Jannah Network Booth at the Reviving the Islamic Spirit Conference 2011.
http://jannahradio.com/ris2011/
Videos:
Daily Blog #126: Debt-Free is the Way to Be and No Mistakes
Alhamdulillah, I just paid off IslamicBoard.com. It took me exactly two years, but we did it through the mercy of God! 
It’s such a relief. I don’t like to be indebted to anyone. When I signed the contract with the former owners (it feels good to say “former” owners), I told them if anything were to happen to me, they have to forgive my debt. That was one of the conditions of the contract. Some months I paid more and other months I paid less. I probably could have paid it off sooner, but then there were payment interruptions with things like the booth and marketing material.
No doubt we wasted a lot of money in the process, but I take it as a learning experience rather than a mistake. The positive aspect was that none of it was donation money. My goal is to stay credit-free. Only use debit. Only spend the money you have. We’ll see how that works out for me, though. I live under my parents’ roof so obviously it’s easy for me to say. I have friends who work full-time and I can’t exactly blame them for using plastic.
But as the speaker was saying the other day, we only have two currencies nowadays: plastic and paper. They’re not worth much and they fluctuate. However, gold and silver is real money. It is tangible. Just a food for thought.
Anyhow, today was my second day of Qur’an class. Glad to say I didn’t make any mistakes today, and the girl I recited it to asked me how I was able to get it so strong. It takes time. It’s been more than three years, so technically it should be stronger, if anything. And the amount I said was only 3/4 of a juz.
But more than that, the four years I was memorizing the Qur’an, my mom had always listened to my lessons before class. So essentially, I’d be saying it twice: once to my mom and again to my teacher. Initially, it was a gradual process. I’d literally practice one page at a time and call on my mom every 15 minutes to listen to me. Then I started increasing my blocks from one page to a quarter, from a quarter to half juz, from half juz to one juz.
And Qur’an class has been not one of the best things, but THE best thing that has ever happened to me. And now that I’m back in Qur’an class, it creates God-consciousness. It’s difficult to articulate into words, but if there’s any empty holes in my schedule, I just study for class. I’m not disciplined, so without a class, I really just lay back and waste time. And if I’m not studying for class, then I’m keeping myself busy with other things.
Although, to maximize the benefit, I feel like I should either restrict my facebook-time or deactivate all together. I really need to plan my schedule out better. There is so much time during the day, but I carry myself very loosely throughout the day.
Daily Blog #125: The End of the Exhibition
So apparently there were a number of people who used to read my old blog, DiariesofaHafiz.com, that came to the exhibition. One of them encouraged me to “keep on writing” and that he found my old blog to be “hilarious.” I’ll need to redirect that old blog back to this one after I save those posts and files.
There were a lot of considerate individuals. The packets of fliers, bookmarks, and postcards we made aren’t exactly cheap. It’s roughly 40 cents a package, but it adds up. So this one gentleman said, “I know this costs a lot so please take this back.” He was straightforward, which caught me off guard, but most importantly, he was honest.
Today was probably the best day in terms of sales. I took on a friendly-aggressive approach, and it seemed to work. There was a sister who was extremely happy to win the silent auction. She was overjoyed and brought all her friends over, who purchased the $1 wristbands we had for sale, which read, “After hardship comes ease.”
The news about our wristbands got to the ears of one of the convention’s performers: Noor. They are a new band that played at this convention. They came by my booth just to tell me that their lyrics also include “After hardship there is ease.” They gave me two free CDs IN PERSON! This got me so thrilled. I gave the guy two wristbands in return. I was going to ask for their autograph, but that’s just so cliche. Instead, I asked them for their contact information so I can call them up for an interview on the Jannah Network Radio Station. 
One of the lectures today spoke about Malcolm X. I really need to read his autobiography – the way they were praising him. I wonder why they dedicated an entire session to him (Edit: not “me” lol. Jazax for the correction, Sis Sakinah). As awkward as this sounds, I find it to be a marketing tactic to reach out to the African-American community here in SoCal. That’s not a bad thing, though. I noticed the way the speakers and topics were chosen that they were trying to be accommodating to a large mass of people.
I was probably the only one who had all three badges: Media, Volunteer, and Vendor. Though, it’s not that big of a deal. Anyhow, I interviewed attendees and they all had the same disappointment: It was geared too much to the political side. The name is “Reviving the Islamic Spirit,” so people were expecting something more spiritually heartlifting. But it was still good, I suppose. You gained some knowledge.
I was happier today because I caught my mistakes (if you read yesterday’s blog post). I didn’t want to get all depressed, might as well enjoy and make the most of what remains. The whole thing could not have been possible without the mercy of Allah. And of course, the volunteers involved made it even better. They packed my entire car and told me to slowly pack up whatever was left at the booth. The sisters stopped by as much as they could between their shifts and shopping. The entire experience was so fulfilling. I also got to meet a LOAD of people. It was a nice reunion. I’m very grateful for the entire experience. We collected a decent amount, roundabout a quarter of what we spent, Alhamdulillah.
There is actually a lot more to share. But I’ve got to start writing on the news report I’m writing for a local paper. Lot to get done. I just cleaned out my car from the entire weekend. I bought a new thobe and some alcohol-free colognes too. I tried to support the poorer booths at the end. Alhamdulillah, I consider my booth a success and I wanted to spread that to them, too.
I’m thinking I should make a photo gallery. Too many photos to show you guys!
Daily Blog #124: An Experience of a Lifetime, perhaps
I usually check my e-mail before writing my blog post. I like to get all my concerns out before I begin writing. But today, I’m pushing away all my concerns for a beneficial rant. On the half hour drive home, I thought about all this and I want to let it out while it’s still fresh.
Alhamdulillah, the Jannah Network exhibition seems to have been a success. We obviously couldn’t raise the complete $2,000 we spent, but we did raise a decent amount. But our intention was not to raise money. It was to engage awareness. We seemed to have received a lot of interest and I was certainly satisfied with the outcome, Alhamdulillah. It made me realize what a big organization we’re running here. I set out on the journey four years ago, and I suppose the gradual process has made me immune to the growing size of the Network.
But today, I realized something. Last year, we raised $515 for Haiti, hosted two courses on Labbayk Academy, and so much more. This year, we had more support but the progress was limited. We may have hyped our projects, but there was no result. For example, we advertised our new Self-Study Arabic Program, but we kept saying that it’s “Coming Soon.” It has been three months since we’ve had any actual progression.
So three months and two thousand dollars later, I realized that something is missing. I looked at the booth, and I was satisfied. To be honest, I thought it was absolutely gorgeous. People actually wanted to sit and socialize to the extent that we were running out of space. There was social activity, as well as engaging attendees with our projects. Anyway, I then checked our account fund, which seemed to be slow and steady.
But something still seemed to be missing. And I realized that our focus was off-track. We worked so hard on this excess activities, that we forgot about our main purpose. I don’t know if it was greed or self-interest (although they’re probably synonymous), we lost the flavor of sincerity. We still stand by our non-donation policy.
But I realized that it’s time to focus on the real deal: classes, communal activities, and actually hosting programs. I’m not demeaning the efforts at the booth, but it’ll be more beneficial, insha-Allah. If we have an appealing and active event, people will flock on their own.
Last year, our sponsor told me that every year we’ll learn something new and improve. At that time, I looked at our simplistic and humble table with its two chairs. In my head, I was heavily disappointed with the turnout of events. But look at this year, Alhamdulillah. Our booth looks gorgeous and we were definitely much more organized than last time. So we live and we learn. Now I am aware of our mistake, and I’ll take it upon myself to insha-Allah lead the Jannah Network in the right direction.
It’s all about sincerity. I need to renew our intention, review our mission statement, and essentially re-structure the Network. It’ll be a long effort, but great things take patience. Things don’t just come to existence. And I must say, as a Network, we are much more fortunate. We were given a number of wonderful opportunities, like the purchase of IslamicBoard.com. But with those opportunities comes responsibility. IslamicBoard hits has been going down tremendously, and I don’t know what exactly is causing it.
But all these turn out of events, I’m taking it as a wake up call. Sure, the Reviving the Islamic Spirit conference didn’t necessarily provide me a spiritual awakening as I was expecting, but it gave me an experience. I received perhaps more knowledge than I did a “revival.” It allowed me to review my actions and their intentions.
I humbly seek your duas. I’ve jotted down quite a few stories I want to share with you guys, but I’ll probably do so in the upcoming days. This post is long as it is.
And I appreciate each and every one of you for reading my blog. Really, it means a lot to me. I hope my post made sense today, because I was trying to convey a very important message – first and foremost to myself.
Not only did I not focus on the actual progression of the Jannah Network, but this whole booth affected my personal schedule. I’ve been arriving home late, which resulted into me praying late. You sleep late, you will naturally wake up late. Or that’s how it is for my body, anyway.
There needs to be a balance not only within the Jannah Network, but how I balance it with my own schedule. I need to discipline between my social life, my virtual life, and my physical duties. Each deserves their own attention because I’ve put commitment on each of them.
However, I don’t think I’ve been up to par with it all. But I’m hoping I’m catching my mistakes, and this is my opportunity to fix them, insha-Allah, with your duas.
Daily Blog #123: Exhibit Day 2
Another tiring day. In the beginning, I was just roaming around the bazaar. This year, I am overwhelmed by the support we’ve received. Brothers and sisters alike just flocked to our booth. I received MANY compliments on the booth design. The volunteers continuously came by and the booth was rarely empty, if at all.
I met a very interesting crowd of people. We sold around 30-50 wristbands, I’d say. I need to take account of it tomorrow. I’m not going to say we were most organized, but we were well-prepared. It was definitely a noticeable improvement from last year. We spent two grand on our booth, but I’d say we maximized it to the best.
Oh, and another highlight: I met a guy who used to work for Google. He said he can refer me, so I took his number and email address down. I’ll probably shoot him an email just to keep in touch with him. I’ll need him a couple years down the line, insha-Allah.
Our entire MSA was crowding the booth as well. At one point, one of my former teachers came by and commented, “Looks like you guys are having a family gathering here.”
Another scholar, the esteemed Imam Tahir Anwar, said that he loved the professionalism about it, including my dress code. He said it’s something we lack in the Muslim community. I wish I took a picture of him at the booth. Apparently there were other notable people that dropped by. Many of them just came to say that we have the best booth in the convention.
I suppose what made it the best is not only the design, but it’s interactivity. Within that 100 sq ft of space, we were able to have a silent auction, mini-bookstore, information booth, and most importantly, a social corner. We could sit a maximum of six at any given time, but we usually had more people. A lot of people also wanted to donate, but we insisted on our no-donation policy. I should have directed them to Jannah Relief, though.
Most people were intrigued by the name, Jannah Network, which would translate to “Heaven Network.” A lady accidentally crashed into me and she was like, “I’m so sorry! I just got so fascinated by the word Jannah!” It’s written in gold on a maroon background, so it even looks fancy, too.
Other booths had plasma TVs etc. We just had my iPad on a decent and humble stand. Overall, I really enjoyed it today. I also had a decent conversation with a friend, and I’ve come to this conclusion:
- I need to be more straightforward. No more with this passive stuff. If my friend called me a douche, instead of giving him the silent treatment, I need to softly (yet strongly) drop the word to him. In addition, you have to be very careful as to whom you confide in. If you’re worried that someone will reveal your secrets if you ever have tension between them, then it’s obvious that you can’t confide in him. Does that make sense?
Oh, and of course, I met Yousef! That was definitely a pleasant meeting. Hopefully tomorrow we are able to hang out more though. Today was the first day and I was just running all over the place.
I humbly request your prayers that we can complete the weekend successfully.
About Me
I'm your Muslim-American-Born-Teenager, but I'm far from being average or typical. I consider myself adventurous, but not in the sense that I'll go hunting for tigers in the rainforests of India (isn't that where you find tigers?) or attempt bungee jumping off the Empire State Building. Rather, my definition for adventure is to challenge myself in spiritual betterment...as monkish or Mullah Hullah as that may sound. But it really is an interesting adventure in its own weirdly and bewitched way. >Read More...
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