#368 – Judging

Posted by Beardo on Jan 27, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

It’s difficult NOT to judge someone. And I’ll give an example.

Today, I met the assigned Imam for the Masjid I lead Fajr at. He asked me if I was the one that leads Fajr, and I said yes. He said it is a huge favor for him because he lives 10-15 minutes away and it is difficult for him. It was at that moment when I had caught myself. I did not want to judge him. In my mind, I thought, I also live 10 minutes away. At the same time, I tried my best to suppress these thoughts. I’ve been trying to think only good of others lately. It’s difficult when we live in a society who like to pounce on each other over everything.

But I thought to myself… If he was able to come to the Fajr Salaah, I would not have the honor of leading Salaah. Every morning, to start my day by leading a prayer, it’s a beautiful opportunity. It makes me read and practice more to myself throughout the day. Every morning, I open the Qur’an, asking myself what I’ll be reciting the following day. If it weren’t for the Imam-less Fajr Salaah, I would probably not be reading and listening Qur’an as much.

Moreover, the Imam has a family. One day I might be in that same position. Who am I to judge? We all have our own circumstances.

So, when he told me he was unable to come because he lived 10-15 minutes away, my only thought was, Alhamdulillah for everything in love. And I should be only grateful to Allah Ta’ala for giving me the ability to wake up and lead Fajr Salaah. And that is all. His life does not concern me.

To each their own.

Mind your own business.

And that’s what I have been telling myself.

It’s sort of like how when people tell me their secrets. Or secrets about other people. Sometimes they ask me for advice, which is fine. But other times, it’s just telling for the sake of telling. For me, that’s just a burden. Especially when it’s something negative, it taints that person’s reputation with me. I don’t appreciate that. I want to think well of everyone, and for that, I need a conducive environment. But that starts with me. Just like how I don’t want to hear those things, I should not say those things.

#367 – First Week of School

Posted by Beardo on Jan 26, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

Just completed the first week of school.

And I made the same promise to myself – I will do assignments as they come. I will not lag behind.

And just like every semester, I fail to do that within the first few days. But my goal is to catch up this weekend. Starting right now. It’s still early in the semester, anyway. The time is always now. If you ever want to do something good, you can’t plan it for a later time, because 99% of the time, you will never get around doing it.

And then there are those times when you see the mountain of work, you avoid it all together – but that doesn’t make things better. It actually just makes the pile bigger and bigger. But when that happens, you have to re-assess – lessen your commitments.

Which is what I actually did this semester. I resigned as the president of the political science club. Sometimes there’s a limit to how much you can put on your plate. I still believe there is time for everything, but it requires an advanced level of time management. I simply do not have that at the moment – still working on it.

But Alhamdulillah, one commitment I have been able to fulfill was this blog… Not sure if you guys noticed, but it has been one year of daily blogging! Alhamdulillah!

#366 – Getting a Job?

Posted by Beardo on Jan 25, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

I’ve talked to and met a variety of people in my life – starting from homeless people to big business owners.

But it never fails to get me when I hear a classmate say, “Man, this textbook was so expensive…I could barely afford this…had to sacrifice…”

I am utmost grateful to Allah, who out of His infinite mercy, had bestowed upon me awesome parents who have never failed to provide for me. Alhamdulillah. For however long I’ve been in college, or school in general, I never had to face that trial of not being able to NOT afford something – especially something as essential as textbooks.

It’s for that same reason that I’ve been actively looking for a job. I do earn here and there from JannahStudios, but that’s something I do as I sit on my comfortable office chair. I’ve applied to a couple places, and I’m just trying to actively acquire a job now. I want to experience those hours of tedious effort, that eventually don’t really pay too well. But it’s an experience. A life experience. And perhaps I can carry a small percent of my weight around as far as finances are concerned.

So, please make dua for me! I did apply to this tea shop (sells tea leaves, etc.) so I’m really hoping I can get this job, inshallah. DUAS, PLEASE!

#365 – Computer Science

Posted by Beardo on Jan 24, 2012 in Blog | 2 comments

I just came out of my first Computer Science class. My professor has quite the credentials and an adventurous life.

But during the two and a half hours of this night class, everything just flew over my head. I have always known that I am not as smart as the rest. It takes me longer to understand things than most people, and I guess I’ve come to accept that. We were all created differently.

But this class, it was beyond me reading it two or three extra times. I was convinced that I was more than just “not smart” but plain stupid and idiotic. Everyone else around me were paying attention attentively, jotting notes here and there. I just sat there, trying to grasp a word, but couldn’t for the life of me. I usually take out my cell phone during class time, but this was one class where I didn’t even THINK about taking it out. For two and a half hours, my butt was stapled to the chair, my eyes peeled on the board and the professor.

After class, I left the class, head bent low, dejectedly. I felt horrible – sick to the stomach. It’s not easy accepting that you’re an idiot.

But then I hear a group of about ten classmates chattering in front of the door. I join them and they’re all saying how they hadn’t understood a word either. To be frank, I was overjoyed. Perhaps I wasn’t stupid after all.

Here is what they were saying:

“This is my 3rd computer class and I didn’t understand a word.”

“I don’t even know what a compiler is! He didn’t explain anything. He just went right into it.”

“I saw the guy next to me copying my notes and I just wanted to tell him that I was BS-ing my notes.”

And like this, we all gave our negative testimonials of the class. I was relieved. It really did seem like he cracked the book open from the middle and just started reading. None of us had a clue what was going on. And I guess we all had a good laugh about it after class, how we were all thinking everyone else understood but us.

They were planning to drop the class, but we all made a pact that we’d give it a couple more days and test the waters. Perhaps it’ll get better. I’ll be taking a crack at the book myself at home and see if I can do it self-paced.

But I guess the moral of this story…is nothing, really. It’s just an interesting story and rant. Tidbit of my life. It’s not really a required course for my major either.

But everything deserves a chance. Not everything will be presented on a golden platter in front of us. All we can do is try our best, and then with Allah is the rest. Perhaps this is just not my calling. BUT we’ll find out. I can’t say just yet that I’ve given it my best because it has only been the first day!

Duas requested, as always. In 2-3 months, I’ll be receiving university responses to see whether I’ve been accepted or rejected. Really need your duas, PLEASE!

#364 – Immodesty

Posted by Beardo on Jan 23, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

I received a text from my old classmate from Madressah today. He’s 16 years old. I’ll use fake names to narrate. The text read, “Abdul and I went into a gas station and Abdul asked if the clerk had [insert inappropriate birth control product here].”

I had a couple reactions.

1. I’ve always tried to play the role of a go-to person, perhaps even like an older brother, to my younger classmates and friends. Part of me was glad that he felt comfortable telling me these things, knowing that I won’t scold and bash him about. This, in my opinion, is the first step if I’d ever want to help him and tell him that it was wrong. If  I were to bash him about right off the bat, he probably won’t tell me anything ever again.

2. On the other hand, I was disappointed that a student of the Qur’an could be so immodest. Not just in words, but also in action. A gas station clerk does not get paid much and has to work unusual shifts/hours. It’s not fair that he has to bear nonsense from anyone, especially teenage kids. And then the words – so inappropriate. There are some things that aren’t meant to be said in public. Or even in private. It’s a sign of immodesty and shamelessness.

Anyway, at the end of the story, he said they ran out of the gas station. I didn’t find it amusing at all. As Muslims, and then as students of knowledge, we have a greater responsibility to act nobly and with dignity. The same tongue that recites Qur’an should not speak words of immodesty or any form of crude language. The words should be soft and soothing.

It’s sad because this entire story was a sign of them trying to fit in with society. I don’t even know where they learn these things from. Perhaps the television and movies nowadays. This is not the way to fit in, though. As students of knowledge, we set the standards. There is no need to fit in. Even the immodest among society, ones with little decency, appreciate the well-mannered. Proper etiquette will take anyone very far in life. We shouldn’t let petty jokes or attempts to fit in society pull us down and tamper our reputation as noble individuals.

But they are good kids, don’t get me wrong. We all slip and fall. We all need a reminder from time to time, bringing us back on track.

Simple Things You Can Do To Make A Difference

Posted by Beardo on Jan 22, 2012 in Blog | 4 comments

Please read this post carefully. Each paragraph has a deep and insightful piece of advice. Perhaps you can expand on some of them in the comments, adding new ideas to the plate.

People do not donate because they are rich. They are rich because they donate.

Simply keeping drinks and bags of chips in the trunk of your car to toss to homeless people on the side of the road is an act of extreme kindness. Perhaps through his or her satiation, you may be granted the eternal bliss in Jannah.

Perhaps you’re buying a jacket or shirt for yourself. Just buying a second one for your brother or sister can mean so much. It shows what you love for yourself, you also love for your brother or sister.

Make a list of all those your close friends. Anytime you’re feeling generous, take it out and make dua for them. It makes more sense to make dua for other people rather than yourself. When you make a dua for someone else, the angels say, “And for you be the same.” And the prayers of the angels are not rejected – they are sinless creatures.

Every Jumuah, take a box of dates or fruit and put it outside for people to eat.

Life in this Dunya should be simple. Imagine renting a car. When the time comes to fill up the gas, you only fill as much as required and not a penny more. If the requirement is a half tank, rarely would someone fill it to full tank. Similarly, this life is not ours. It’s for Allah. We live according to necessity, and not a second more. That’s not to say you cannot enjoy life. Let’s say you wish to eat. Eat well, eat expensive food. But don’t waste, don’t over-eat. Eat Zabihah Halaal. Be moderate and within your capability.

Stand up for yourself. You know, on the way to college, there is an adult video store. I observed on a red light how the lot is filled with cars, people walking in and out without shame. People enlarge their earlobes for those earring holes. Others dye their hair pink and blue. Some walk around naked to prove a point. If they can do all that without shame, then you should similarly have the confidence in what you believe in. Man up. Stand up for yourself.

When you visit a new community, visit as many Masajid as you can. Pay respects at the graveyard, if you can. That is your Muslim brothers’ and sisters’ rights. And if you have time, go for sightseeing and knock yourself out while doing it. There’s no harm in it. It’s not to say that you cannot enjoy yourself. But if you truly want to enjoy every moment of life, do things for someone other than yourself. That’s the true way to live.

Always think well of others, making excuses for them. As a society, we tend to become bitter very easily. And this is something you may have noticed from my posts as well. If someone falls back on a commitment, we tell ourselves that we will never talk or invite that person ever again. Why are we so easily offended? Let it go. Don’t become bitter over petty issues.

Life is too short to be arrogant. Life is too short to be arrogant. Life is too short to be disrespectful.

#363 – Conviction

Posted by Beardo on Jan 22, 2012 in Blog | 0 comments

I think, from personal experience, I’ve confused a lot of terms. For example, there’s a difference between arrogance and conviction.

For the past two days, I’ve been attending a seminar on Islamic Manners and Etiquette.

In the process of the lecture, the scholar narrated a story about how he overheard his father say, “I have three sons of whom all are Hafidh of the Qur’an. My life is complete and I am ready to pass on.” And as if that had not startled me enough, the scholar himself said, “For him to say that made me think, well, I’m the one with the Qur’an in my heart. My life is complete, too. I can anticipate forgiveness and mercy based off that.”

My first reaction was shock. That was very bold. But I think I have been too critical and harsh on myself. After four years of effort and then to firmly say your life is complete and ready to meet God, that’s not a sign of arrogance. It’s a sign of conviction. You are not seeking anything from anyone. You’re simply relying on Allah Ta’ala for mercy, with firm conviction that He will compensate and show mercy, because He is the All-Merciful.

And suddenly, after all these years, I felt like I was moving closer to understanding the meaning of conviction. When you firmly believe something, you have no hesitation to make bold statements (such as saying your life is complete and ready to go), anticipating the Infinite Mercy of Allah Ta’ala. And I also began to understood the value of the Qur’an.

Yesterday, the first time after a very long time, I prayed all five salaat in the Masjid. In addition, I led four of them. I spent the day in the Masjid, acquiring knowledge. I cannot explain to you the beauty of learning. I kept tapping away on my iPad with notes. And then I came online to pass it on to you. There is so much I have learned this weekend, the uplift in spirituality.

But now is the harder part. It’s easy to feel that tingling of excitement and inspiration in the moment. But now is the obstacle of maintaining it. It’s not much of an obstacle as it is a challenge. As long as you remember, practice, and hold that firm conviction, insha-Allah it should be easy. And there are simple things you can do, which I’ll mention in my next post, insha-Allah!